Fake Almost
by Kathryn Claire O'Connor
Summary: Maya's "honeymoon date" with Farkle does feel fake... almost. *Faya post 2x02 four-shot*
1. Chapter 1

**In memory of the show's forgotten pairing - Farkle/Maya - here's this. My goal was to write it in such a way that it could be read as a BroTP, or pre-relationship, whichever context you prefer to think of it as. I think the end-result was closer to one-sided Faya, but I'll let you make up your own mind about that. I'll also shut up now. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Prologue**

Farkle Minkus wasn't the diary-keeping type. He wasn't. He liked lists, though – and what he kept was definitely a list. It was a list, not a diary – a list of notable interactions with his girls. The front of each page in his... leather-bound _notebook_ was dedicated to interactions with Riley, and on the back of each page he listed his interactions with Maya. To compare, to try to solve the great mystery of the universe – which one he should turn into the first Mrs. Farkle Minkus. And, in a way, simply because he loved them – loved being able to look back through the notebook and recall memories that had often been the highlight of his day.

Granted, as much as he loved them both equally, most days it seemed like a no-brainer who he ought to choose. Riley was good, the sunlight in his life, and she was good _to him_. Maya was darker, more abrasive, sassier – mysterious and beautiful in a way that could only be compared to the night sky… or so he'd been told.

As days passed and he listed these interactions out every night before going to bed, Maya's pages looked like so:

 _She used one of my sparklers to start the sprinklers at school._

 _She wouldn't even look into my eyes – but, man, can she draw! I'm going to keep the picture in my pocket, and probably keep it forever. I hope she knows how wonderful, inspiring, and talented she is._

 _She walked with me to Riley's apartment before school. Later I stuck my finger up her nose._

 _She let me dance with her at our first school dance. I kept the rose Lucas gave her. Maybe she'll let me give her one someday._

 _I almost got to kiss her during our school play. Later she poked me with a fake spear. And she's sorry that I stink._

 _She grabbed me by the front of my shirt, and I was nearly close enough to kiss her. She wouldn't kiss me when I asked, though. She also flung me onto Riley's bedroom floor because she blamed me for ruining "her girl." I returned the favor._

 _She drew me like a bird that needed protection – she does love me! Not that she would admit it, of course. Father came to school, and she helped Riley save my skin. They both backed me up when Father brought them up in the context of "the two ladies" who "keep chasing you." She said that she hoped "one of us will be lucky enough to become the future Mrs. Farkle Minkus, and have a lot of baby Minkii." I'm sure her actress/waitress mother would be proud. Then, of course, I was the one who went and said something hurtful to her._

 _She looks great in glasses and makes for a very pretty "smart girl." I wish she realized she was smart already. Plus she and Riley tried to set me up with Smackle._

 _She sat by me at Mrs. Svorski's. I wish she saw how talented she was, and just how much the world would benefit from hearing what she has to say. I love her laugh, and I wish she'd find a reason to laugh more. Plus, I'm just going to add "May Klutterbucket" because I can. She's not a Klutterbucket; she's all Hart, and she's going to change history. I just know it._

 _She makes for a very bad business woman, apparently, but she's good at heart, that much isn't just Lucas's influence._

 _She's a very good pitcher, and competitive, and occasionally scary. But I knew most of that already. And I love her for all of it._

 _She likes to pretend that she doesn't learn things, that she doesn't pay attention in class. But she does, and she learns things about life. She's more than smart. She's intuitive. I wonder if she sees that._

 _She's really protective of me – of everyone. She was willing to stand up to Billy for me, and that… means a lot to me. In her own way, she does love me. And she isn't "broken." I wish she saw what I see in her._

 _She hugged me. When the whole mess of school politics and trying to tear apart the competition was over, she hugged me, and maybe I fell in love all over again. And she and Riley did a really sweet thing for Lucas instead of totally butchering his reputation. She's not as hard as she likes to pretend she is…_

 _Alone at last… and she decided to put her best friend's little brother before me. That's okay – can't I think that just go to show how much she cares about people?_

 _She likes Riley's uncle, but he doesn't like her back – not like that. I wish she saw that she deserved better – saw that there was someone right here who loves her, even at thirteen. And she looks really pretty when she sleeps too, I noticed – not that I meant to spend the night at the Matthews. She looks innocent, like for once she doesn't have a care. It's a nice expression on her._

 _She didn't like my wristwatches – or Riley's matchmaking plan. But I can handle her being mad at me, at all of us, now if it means better things for her later. At least I'm not the one who tied her up._

 _I know I love it when she laughs… but I still don't know how to choose between my girls. She seemed really touched, though, when I showed her the old skateboard of hers that I'd kept. I'm just glad that, even though the two of them fought over me, in the end I didn't have to choose between them – yet. And can I just say that I really respect a woman who can handle a spider like that? Even if her spider did bite my spider's head off…_

 _Well, this is an unexpected turn of events – she asked Lucas to go out with her._

Then Mr. Matthews did a thing, and this is what ended up in the notebook:

 _She and I went on our first date together, and she let me kiss her hand – even if she did get distracted by Riley's uncle first. I think I want to ask her to marry me!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Farkle grinned at the sight of Maya walking into the doorway of the classroom with a wedding dress on. "Well, who would've ever thought that we'd end up here? Not you, I assume, but me, I always believed that it would be one of you who realized that you loved me and wanted to be the first Mrs. Farkle Minkus. Though I guess that means that someone else will be the second Mrs. Farkle Minkus, but that's a horrible thing to be thinking about at my first wedding, and to the beautiful Miss Maya Pen-"

"Farkle!" Maya snapped. "You're doing the speed-talking date rant thing again."

Farkle clamped his lips shut – for all of a second. "Sorry, but I'm just so excited!"

Maya shuffled forward awkwardly, unaccustomed to the swishing masses of tulle and silk around her legs. Frowning, she double-checked, "Are you sure I have to do this just to keep the ring?"

"It is a very pretty ring," Farkle coaxed.

Maya sighed adoringly as she looked down at the engagement ring on her left hand, agreeing dreamily, "Yeah, it really is." It was easily the prettiest thing that she had ever held, let alone claimed as her own – sort of – so for that... "Okay, I'll do it."

"Excellent!" Farkle grinned, gesturing for the trio of boys who'd been standing to the side of the classroom to step forward.

One of Farkle's nerd friends handed her a bouquet, both nerds moved away again, and Jeffry stepped into the middle do the otherwise empty room. Farkle offered Maya his arm, and she stifled a sigh as she accepted it.

"You really do look beautiful," Farkle murmured quietly. "I think you're up to giving me eighty-nine percent."

"Blame the dress," Maya muttered as the two of them stepped up to Jeffry – apparently he was officiating this façade – and she didn't mention that she'd done her up-do and makeup herself with a little extra care this morning. Only a little, but still, it was Farkle, and she knew how important this was to him.

So she let him keep their arms intertwined, said all the right words at the right time, and watched Farkle's smile grow when Jeffry declared, "I now pronounce you fake husband and wife." He asked Farkle, "You wanna kiss the bride?"

Maya glared at Farkle without a word when the genius looked at her, and he shook his head, answering Jeffry contentedly, "Nah, I'm good."

"Then I guess that's that," Jeffry replied, gesturing towards the classroom door as he said, "We're done here. Congratulations on the wedding, you guys."

Farkle and Maya headed out of the classroom together, and the first thing Maya heard was Riley, saying, "…Because no one is moving too fast here."

 _Yeah, okay_ , Maya grinned, tossing her bouquet at her friend as she and Farkle walked past Riley and Lucas. Once they were out of the main traffic area, she looked awkwardly down at her dress as she asked Farkle, "What now?"

"Don't you want to go on a honeymoon, Mrs. Minkus?"

Maya's jaw dropped, her eyes blowing wide as her gaze snapped to Farkle's face – to see him smirking.

 _Teasing,_ she realized with a rush of relief. She smiled back at him.

"If you'd like to change out of your dress first," he offered. "I did have a little something planned. If you want."

Maya took one look at his hopeful expression, internally blamed her answer on the fact that they'd just been fake-married – _besides, Riley and Lucas are probably going to be busy with each other_ – and replied with a sigh, "All right, Farkle; I'll play along for now."

"Yay…" Farkle drawled with a wide smile.

Twenty minutes later, Maya met Farkle at the door to the school dressed in normal clothes with her backpack slung over her shoulder.

"Do you want me to carry your backpack?" he asked, still looking overly excited and pleased.

Maya arched an eyebrow in surprise as she handed it over. Maybe there would be perks to this after all – besides the ring, of course. "Where are we going?"

"To my mom's limo," he smiled.

"Your mom owns a _limo_?" she gasped.

She knew Farkle's family had money, but he'd never really flaunted it before. _So why now?_

"Farkle, are you trying to impress me?" she asked with a grin. _Didn't he know he didn't have to do that?_

He shrugged. "I thought I'd just… show you a good time, sort of – spoil you a little, if you'll let me." He glanced nervously at her, declaring, "I think you deserve it. Besides –" he grinned. "Any Minkus wife – fake or not – ought to be shown the high life."

"Farkle, you don't have to-"

"I want to," he interrupted quickly. "If you'll let me."

 _It was important to him,_ she realized, before saying mildly, "All right." She gestured to the black limo as they approached it, adding in awe, "How can I turn down a ride in something as cool-looking as _that_?"

And that was _before_ a chauffeur got out of the driver's seat. "What the…" Maya laughed in shock. "Seriously?" she asked Farkle.

He beamed and nodded, happy to have so obviously pleased her. "Your chariot awaits, wife."

Maya rolled her eyes, sliding into the backseat of the car.

Farkle slid in beside her, introducing, "Maya, this is our butler and chauffer, Jacobs. Jacobs, this is Maya Hart, my classmate – and now my fake wife."

Jacobs raised his eyebrows, declaring, "I don't have to know," before he shut the car door.

"He's cheerful, isn't he?" Maya muttered before Jacobs got in the driver's seat.

Farkle snorted at the idea of the servant being anything of the sort. To Jacobs he said, "Just take us home, please."

"We're going to your house?" Maya asked Farkle, wondering how lavish _that_ would be if this was the sort of vehicle they owned.

"Is that okay?" he inquired anxiously.

"Farkle," she pointed out. "It's still me, and I'm still just Maya; there's no reason for you to be so nervous. It'll be fine; sure, I'll go to your house."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Farkle released a breath, seeming to relax at the reminder, and Maya smiled to see it. Then Farkle started chattering, and for a while Maya tuned him out with a practiced ear.

Eventually she interrupted him mid-stream to ask, "What do you have planned?"

"For us today?" Farkle asked, seeming surprised that she was actually curious. She had honestly just wanted him to be quiet for a _second_ , but why split hairs? She nodded, only for him to grin, looking far too pleased with himself as he replied, "I'm not telling; I want it to be a surprise."

Maya raised a skeptical eyebrow, declaring dismissively, "You're not capable of keeping a secret."

"Watch me," Farkle said confidently – and though he was jittery with anticipation by the time Jacobs parked, he didn't say a word for the rest of the drive.

"I'm impressed, Farkle," Maya grinned at his silence as Jacobs came and opened the door for them – then she got a look at the Minkus family, well, mansion, and became _really_ impressed. She would bet a month's worth of her mom's salary that there were no leaks in _this_ place. She breathed out a "whoa…" as Farkle handed her out of the car. "Nice place." Farkle blushed, and it crossed her mind to wonder if he was uncomfortable showing her the wealth he was apparently surrounded by. He shrugged, and Maya noticed then that he hadn't let go of her hand yet. She didn't point it out, telling the chauffer, "Thanks for the ride, Jake."

Farkle smirked at her flippancy – and the way Jacobs' bushy eyebrows shot up again – before he tugged her… towards the backyard. She was a little disappointed that they didn't seem to be heading into the house, and asked, "Where are we going?"

"To my favorite spot on the property," he answered, and he was so excited that she couldn't bring herself to object.

What she saw in the backyard wasn't disappointing anyway. There was an in-ground pool surrounded by a wrought-iron fence with a patio area and barbeque pit and grill nearby. But Farkle was leading her away from even that – towards a treehouse at the opposite end of the yard, she realized as they walked past a tennis court.

"You like tennis?" she asked curiously.

He looked incredulously at her. "No, not really. My mom likes it, though, so I play. Do you like tennis?"

Maya shrugged. "I'm more of a volleyball person. Whose idea was the grill and barbeque pit?"

"Also my mom's." He started up the treehouse ladder ahead of her, declaring, "The outdoors is more her thing. The library is my dad's baby. And this –" he smiled, stretching out his hand to help her stand in the treehouse. "Is mine."

Maya looked around, a little impressed despite herself. In spite of its unassuming exterior, even she could tell that the lab the treehouse contained was a _very_ nice one. "So this is how you ace chemistry," she muttered, walking around as she got a better look at the setup – not that she knew exactly what she was looking at, for the most part. Farkle followed at her heels, holding her hand the whole time. However, given the day they'd had together, she just didn't care. "Have you ever brought Riley or Lucas here?"

Farkle shook his head, admitting worriedly, "I never know how they'd react to… _everything_."

 _The obvious way the Minkus family wealth was displayed here. "_ Then why did you bring me?" she asked curiously.

He grinned, answering simply, "You're my new wife. I thought it only fair that you get to see this part of my life."

She smiled back at him, able to appreciate at least the sweetness of the gesture. "Thanks, Farkle."

"For what?" he asked, walking over to a mini-fridge – _seriously? In a tree house?!_

She shrugged. "For letting me see this part of your life."

"You can become a part of this side of my life, too, if you want, as my honorary fake wife."

"How would I do that?"

He started to dig around in the fridge, answering, "At first I thought maybe I'd invite you to dinner with my parents and Seamus and I, but I decided you'd think that was moving too fast – even if we are married – so I went this route instead."

Farkle started pulling small containers of food out of the fridge – chicken sandwiches, pasta salad, and strawberries – and Maya looked at it all skeptically as she asked, "Who's Seamus?"

"My little brother," Farkle replied, taking plates, forks, cups, and a picnic blanket out of a cabinet. "He's eight."

"And your dad's name is Stuart," she recalled, watching as he opened the chilled containers.

He nodded as he spread the picnic blanket out in front of a window, adding, "My mom's name is Jennifer."

"You know," Maya said slowly, taking initiative of her own to bring the food over and set it on the blanket. "If you want me to, I really would be happy to meet them. I'm curious."

"About what?" he asked, setting the dishes on the blanket.

"Your mom, I guess. What sort of a woman would marry a Minkus, I want to know." Farkle raised an eyebrow and he didn't even have to say the words before Maya did it for him with a smile. "Yeah, I guess I did, didn't I?"

"You did," Farkle replied with a grin before he gestured to their picnic. "Care to take a seat, my lovely fake wife?"

She nodded regally, teasingly, as she folded herself Indian-style on the picnic blanket, declaring, "Don't mind if I do, my dashing fake husband!"

Farkle's smile widened – pretty obviously despite himself – as they filled their plates.

"This is good," Maya complimented as they began to eat. "My compliments to the chef."

"I'll let you tell her yourself, if you were serious about wanting to meet my mom."

"She made all of this?"

He nodded. "She's a good cook, and when I told her I was thinking of doing a picnic like this for us, she volunteered her services, as it were."

"You told your parents about the wedding?" Maya asked cautiously.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Yeah, sure," Farkle replied breezily before asking more carefully, "Is that okay?"

Maya nodded even though she wasn't really sure how she felt about the idea, admitting only, "I just haven't told my mom, is all."

He shrugged, offering, "I don't mind if you don't want to."

"I will soon," she promised with a casual shake of her head. _After all,_ the new thought occurred to her. _She and Riley had promised each other they'd never settle for anything less than Farkle; wouldn't that make this fake "marriage" something to be happy about?_

Farkle was smiling faintly at her in confusion as he asked, "Why are you smiling like that?"

She hadn't even realized she was smiling at all, but – _oh yeah, I guess I am._ She shrugged, replying fondly, "I guess I'm just really happy to be Mrs. Minkus all of a sudden."

"You are?"

"I am," she nodded at his shocked expression, smile widening. "And you know what? I really would like to meet your family if you want me to."

"After we finish our supper?" he suggested.

She nodded her agreement, and this time, when he took her hand, she just squeezed his hand right back and continued to eat her food. When their sandwiches and pasta salad were gone, Farkle opened the strawberries and held one out to her.

Maya arched an eyebrow, smirking as she leaned forward and bit off the flesh of the strawberry while he still held the stem. His entire face flamed, and maybe amusement was the wrong thing to feel, but Maya burst out laughing when she realized that he'd only meant to _hand_ the fruit to her.

"What's the matter, sweetie? I thought this was supposed to be a honeymoon," she said faux-innocently, grinning impishly the entire time. She held a strawberry up for him, asking with a raised eyebrow, "Want it?"

He plucked it delicately from her hand, managing to say "Yeah, thanks," before he popped the fruit into his mouth.

Maya's smirk stayed firmly in place as she shook her head and reached for another strawberry, asking, "What? No chocolate syrup, Farkle?"

"There's some in the fridge, if you want me to get it," he replied instantly.

"I'm teasing, Farkle," she reminded him with a friendly grin.

"I know," Farkle replied, his wide gaze heartbreakingly innocent as he explained, "But I want you to be comfortable here, and treated liked you're as special as you actually are."

"Farkle…" Maya started – but she really wasn't sure _what_ to say to that. So she settled for a simple,  
"Thank you."

He smiled sweetly back at her. "You're welcome." Then they lapsed into a comfortable silence until they were done eating, and Farkle asked, "Do you think you're ready to meet my family?"

Maya shrugged casually. "Sure. I've already met your dad. How bad could your mom and brother be?"

Farkle grinned as he jumped to his feet and gave Maya a hand to hers. The two of them started to clean up their picnic together as he answered, "Neither of them are… exceptionally smart, like Dad and I. Seamus is actually pretty… normal." He shrugged, "He's just a happy, eight-year-old kid."

"What about your mom?"

He sucked in a breath, seeming to consider that a little longer than Maya thought was strictly necessary before he said, "You'll just have to meet her, I think."

"Oh, that's concerning," Maya drawled.

"Not really," Farkle brushed away her concern. "She's just… unique. Fierce. Sometimes Mrs. Matthews reminds me of her, actually," he admitted before looking around to make sure everything was as they'd found it. For all that Farkle could be eclectic, Maya suddenly got the feeling he was meticulous about this lab. "You'll be fine. I think you guys could get along great. She's just… determined. Strong-willed. Kind of…" he seemed like he was choosing his words very carefully. "Bossy," he finally admitted. "And moody. Depending on whether or not she and my dad are… having a good day." Maya hot him a sympathetic look, but Farkle shook himself out of it, smiling at her as he asked, "So, are you ready to meet the rest of the Minkus's?"

She took a deep breath, suddenly nervous as she declared, "I am if you are."

"You'll be fine," he repeated calmly, reaching to give her hand a squeeze before gesturing her towards the exit.

She forced herself to relax and give him a smile that she wasn't convinced he bought. "Sure," she answered easily, heading for the exit.

Farkle came down after her, and when his feet hit the ground, he looked where Maya's gaze had strayed. "Pretty sunset," he remarked.

Maya smiled, looking from the riotous blaze of color in the sky to Farkle as she told him, "You're gold."

He looked at her in confusion, though he smiled as he asked, "What?"

"The lighting," Maya explained, nodding towards the sunset. "Everything turns gold at this time of day. Including you," she grinned.

"Huh." Farkle looked back at the sunset, considering that as he gazed around the yard, seeing the way it was bathed in the golden light. There was wonder in his eyes as he asked her softly, "Are you going to draw it later?"

Maya looked at Farkle, studying the way he was half-silhouetted by the sunset with that innocent awe in his eyes, and mused, "Yeah, I think I'll draw that when I get home."

They stood there together in silence, watching the sunset until the sky turned a murky gray. Then they looked at each other and he asked, "Ready now?"

Watching the sunset really had relaxed her, Maya realized, and her smile was genuine as she said for a second time, "Sure."

Farkle smiled, nodding firmly as he offered her his hand with the question in his eyes: _Did she need or want that extra bolstering going into this?_ She didn't, not really, but she was pretty sure he'd enjoyed holding her hand so far, so she smiled a little and clasped his hand.

He was grinning as they approached his house, and it was apparently an infectious expression because Maya found herself doing the same thing. It was surprisingly easy, she realized with a bit of a jolt, because she actually kind of felt like she'd just been on a real date.

 _A fake real date… with Farkle,_ she reasoned feebly. _This is all fake_ – of course it was – _including a dinner date._

She knew all of that, absolutely she did, and it did feel fake. _Well,_ she admitted to herself, glancing at the boy holding her hand. _This date felt fake… almost._


End file.
